Some sociologists consider there are four kinds of relationship: I win, you lose; I lose, you lose; I win, you win, and I lose, you win. Yes, relationships are important in human life – families, institutions, neighbourhood, community, business, society, and nation.
1) Arrogant relationship: I win, you lose. Some people have high opinions about themselves: education, status, power, authority, position, influence…etc. They have the attitude that the winner takes all. The other person should always be a loser, hence will try to intimidate, exploit, abuse and oppress others. In marriage, dictator husbands and fathers ruin joy in the family. Rich exploit the poor with this attitude. As disciples of the Lord, they reject this paradigm.
2) Fatalistic relationship: I lose, you lose. There are many who have a fatalistic mindset. They not only self-destruct, but also destruct others along with them. This paradigm is that of a suicide bomber. Disciples of our Lord could not be destructive of lives and property. They would rather sacrifice than to destroy.
3) Sensible relationship: I win, you win. There are a few prudent people who would like to have the fruits of work or collaboration distributed evenly. Even when there is a burden or an unpleasant task, it could be distributed. Joy, worry, victory, loss, defeat, gain, profit…all are distributed. When a husband and wife share and care for one another as one body, they practice a sensible relationship.
4) Sacrificial relationship: I lose, you win. There are a few, who wish to sacrifice their privileges, blessing, even their life so that others are blessed. Lord Jesus taught: “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” (John 12:24)
Paul writes: “I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree with the Lord.” (Philippians 4:2) Relationships between believers are based on love for God and one another. Hence, agreeing with one another without bitterness and malice is a healthy relationship.
Do I have a sensible and sacrificial relationship?