These days, marriages seem to be too fragile. For no rhyme or reason, a marriage relationship ends in divorce. It is like a short street with a dead end. One of the movie celebrities who completed 26 years gave two reasons for a successful marriage: Partial deafness and Selective amnesia. She said they were two different personality types, had many differences of opinion, but decided to stay together using the two principles.
Partial deafness
In relationships, especially in families, it is essential to resolve not to be hurt by words. Those who are close and loved have the capacity to hurt the most. The Bible teaches the right and wise solution: “Do not take to heart all the things that people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you. Your heart knows that many times you yourself have cursed others.” (Ecclesiastes 7:21) First, people may not be serious enough to mean what they say. Second, it could be an expression during a stressful moment of anger or frustration. Third, since only a part of the sentence is heard as a murmur or grumble, the benefit of the doubt should be given to the other person. Fourth, all of us do this many times to others, before whom we cannot express our anger because of the power or position they hold.
Selective amnesia: Learning to forget what is not important is a skill and ability needed for good relationships. Forgiving others, forgetting the experience, but learning the lessons is a difficult task. ‘Selective amnesia’ means to deliberately choose certain things to be forgotten. This is possible only when love dominates married life. Love covers a multitude of sins. (I Peter 4:8) Paul writes teaching the practical aspects of love: “Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:8) First, is to be kind, courteous, polite, and sensitive. As we wish others to treat us, we should treat others. (Luke 6:31) Second, it is to be tender, child-like, and gentle. Third, forgiving the spouse as Christ has forgiven unconditionally.
Do I have these principles of life?