One celebrity actor, after 15 years of marriage with his second wife, announced divorce. Interestingly, both said that they start a new chapter – no longer as husband and wife, but as co-parents and family for each other. They divorced after two years of emotional separation. Now, physically, emotionally, and legally separated, they claimed to ‘stay forever as a family.’ They no longer remain as husband and wife, but as friends, partners in business and co-parents to their son. It is an amusing, painful and foolish statement. How can they be a family forever at the same time divorced? Sadly, they did not know what family is. Prophet Malachi provides some valuable insights regarding family. (Malachi 2:13-16)
1) Covenant relationship: Marriage is a covenant relationship and companionship between a man and woman, which includes physical, sexual, emotional, mental, psychological, legal and spiritual relationships. It is not a contract relationship or convenient partnership.
2) Treacherous: Faithfulness and loyalty are the basis of a marriage relationship. Malachi condemned the husbands who enjoy married life in their youth and abandon them.
3) Divorce: Covenant relationship is permanent as long as both are alive. It is a violation of a solemn vow. It is harmful to both as well as the children if they have any. God has not commanded but allowed divorces on certain conditions. However, God desires repentance, forgiveness and reconciliation in marriage.
4) Domestic Violence: An important tradition in Jewish weddings is for man to cover the bride with his garment. That was a symbolic act of love, belonging and protection. When a husband abuses verbally, physically or emotionally he covers his own garment with violence. By mistreating her, he harms himself.
5) Heed the Spirit: Malachi exhorts to heed the Holy Spirit. Insensitive heart is a hard heart. Love is not chemistry or emotional excitement. Love is the fruit of the Spirit and it ought to spring from the will of a person. (Galatians 5:22-23)
In most cases, women are victims and there are men who are also victims.
Do I understand God’s purpose and ideals of marriage?