Rachael did not have a child through Jacob, while her sister Leah had. Frustrated, Rachael complained to Jacob: “Give me children or I’ll die.” (Genesis 30:1) Indeed, Jacob was equally frustrated. He shouted at Rachael, “Am I in place of God?” (Genesis 30:2) This kind of conversation between spouses is common. All humans need physical, social, psychological, emotional, mental, spiritual…etc. As humans all are dependent on others. In marriage spouses are expected to be the burden bearers and those who could meet all needs. However, many times there seems to be failures. Who is the resource to provide all these needs? Instead of looking to God as the resource, spouses look to their partner for their needs to be met. When that does not happen; frustration, anger, disagreement and even fights begin.
In contrast, Leah was not loved by her spouse Jacob, but God blessed her with children. When Judah was born, she named him: “This time I will praise the Lord.” (Genesis 29:31,35) Her statement was that she will continuously praise the Lord, whether Jacob loves her or not, God loves her and blessed her. Already she had given birth to children, that had not changed her status in relationship with Jacob. She looked towards God of Heaven who gave her comfort and more children.
All our deepest longings and desires could be only met by Lord Jesus Christ. Treating a spouse as God and expecting from them, what only God could provide is foolishness. The Samaritan woman kept looking for her needs to be met six times by her different spouses and all ended up in failure. (John 4: 18) Spouses are not gods to provide all the needs.
No wonder, we have more divorces than ever before. Learning to lean on God in all situations results in peace with ourselves and with others. God would provide grace when needs are not met by the spouse. His grace would be manifested to have a victorious married life.
Do I have expectations from God or expect from human sources?